Book Review: They All Fall Down by Roxanne St. Claire

Non semper ea sunt quae videntur
Things are seldom what they seem

Genre: Young Adult/Mystery Thriller

Last year and earlier this year I binged on horror movies and a majority of them were pretty awful but awful that’s so good they were great.

I watched a movie about a killer turkey, you guys. A killer goddamn turkey. And it was absolutely fantastic because it made no kind of sense.

This book reads like a teen horror movie and actually boasts that it’s Pretty Little Liars meets Final Destination. Now I’ve never seen Pretty Little Liars but I’ve seen Final Destination. I can see that somewhat…What this reminds me more of though is Sorority Row.

To be on the Hottie List at Vienna High School is to be elevated to a Goddess.

And Kenzie Sumerall has done it. She is on the elite list. She is number 5. She’s absolutely stunned and elated until the accidents start happening. She’s almost killed in a car wreck and then girl after girl starts dying on the list. Number after number after number.

They say it is a curse. And if you talk about the curse you die.

Memento mori.

Remember that you will die.

So…

This wasn’t great lmao. At all. And it’s disappointing as hell. The premise…is okay but also not great. First of all, the fact that this list is written by a DUDE IS SHITTY AND MISOGYNISTIC AS HELL. Because first of all, who the fuck asked you Patrick?

Men rating women grates on my nerves and will continue to. My ex used to do that shit and that is actually a huge reason as to why we broke up because he could not handle that I called him out for that shit. I actually had no idea that a man wrote the hottie list. I thought this was some Mean Girl type shit and yes, that’s still wrong, but at least it’s some bitchy shit and not some dude with a crusty man bun who smells like mayo and cheap AXE body spray. So yes, not okay.

Secondly and I guess this is the most important and whatever…the characters are bland and forgettable. The only people I remember are Kenzie, Molly, Amanda and Dena. I remember Amanda because it’s my name and it’s a stunningly gorgeous name and Molly because it’s the Americanized version of the girl from Sailor Moon with the Boston accent.

They’re caricatures with attitude and I found myself zoning out completely. When certain characters died I was like wow…that’s awful *reaches for chip* Bummer. Ya’ll…I am sensitive. I cried so much during House of Salt and Sorrows. I ain’t cried once during this book. I was like a zombie and maybe giggled a few times ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Maybe I’m a monster (I am). The men were completely the same. I…could not tell the difference at all. Josh? Ted? Moo?

Christ…the worst is the motive and the overall plot…I blinked several times. Itโ€™s so cheesy and over the top. The Latin is really cool though. I always wished I had taken Latin in highschool. I took a year of Japanese and 3 years of Spanish when I moved back to New York. All my cool smart friends took Latin and I was extremely jealous.

Okay, back to the story. The big reveal was…so bland and hilarious and I guess setting us up for sequels which…

I hope they’re better. I enjoyed this a lot better before I got to the killer, the reveal, etc. I like to go in open minded and not listen to the reviews but sometimes they are absolutely right.
The cover is a really cool look though. It’s different! All in all, dreadful. Youโ€™ll have fun up until a point and then it goes downhill baby.

Mors tu vita mea
You must die so that I may live

๐Ÿ’œโœจ 1.5/5

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9 thoughts on “Book Review: They All Fall Down by Roxanne St. Claire

  1. ๐Ÿ˜‚ you came with vengeance for this one! I love it! I can totally understand why you didnโ€™t like this one and honestly I wouldnโ€™t like it either.

    Liked by 1 person

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